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Aardvark Aardvark Political Party - Defence Policy
Overall defence
Overall, we see a far more cost effective solution than the current governers of the country. Imagine a game of Top Trumps where you never have to show what you really have? Well, we reckon we can base our defence policy on that.
Navy
The Navy will be equipped with 100 new 'quadrodent' carbon-neutral nuclear powered submarines. These will have the ability to launch over 1000 missiles at a range of 5000 miles. They will also be the first submarines that are able to fly.
Army
Each army person will be given a new bulletproof Land Rover, a rocket launcher, a machine gun and some eagle-eyes. The top brass will be issued with missiles so accurate you can decide which eye to go for, on the head of state on the stamp of the country we are at war with. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.......
Air Force
We will revert to Spitfires. Everyone loves Spitfires, and what with the flying submaries the navy will have we'll not need anything else from the RAF but nostalgia. "Bally gerry, caught a waspy right in the hows yer father, flipped over on his betty harpers and bought his can in the Bertie" - Fl Lt Sir Moulinex Blender 1943 - those were the days, eh?
Defence Control
All operations will be co-ordinated in a futuristic bunker [like that one off of War Games] which will be situated in the shafts of the old Isabella pit, not only creating jobs for everyone within the County, but also becoming a nuclear bunker and bolt hole in the unlikely event of someone actually 'having a go'. Everyone would be welcome, except charvers and anyone from Alnwick.
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