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Aardvark Aardvark Political Party
The Credit Crunch
The Olympics - so, 12 billion pounds works out at £20 per person, and that includes the bloody kids too !! Thats £20 per living soul NATIONALLY! Now, its far from us to dictate what people should class as a hobby or a sport by we reckon that a three week school sports day based in London isnt what the nation wants or needs.
Vote Aardvark and we'll give it back to the French
National British Banking
The banks - you may have heard but us taxpayers now own most of the high street banks. We want to amalgamate the banks and form one huge National British Banking. Then, we'll employ Dr Beeching [or maybe his offspring] to trim the bank until it offers value for money. This may affect certain rural areas who's customer base may not justify a real bank but it won't affect Blyth Valley. So its got to be good.
Pasty Tax
Although Aardvark Aardvark are huge supporters of pasties overall [but not doughnuts as a whole], we believe that everything should be enjoyed in moderation. We will introduce a 10p pasty tax in Britain which by our sums should pay for the national health service in its entirity.
Fake Pound Coins
The recent furore surrounding fake pound coins has led us to the conclusion that certain people havent got enough time on their hands. Therefore anyone who comes up with such spurious and unprovable studies will be paid for this work in fake pound coins. And then arrested.
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